By: Nada Mawsouf
A lot of factors contribute to our questioning of how someone views us and the way they react to that perception. One thing is for sure, everyone of us has been (or still is) around people who act as emotional vampires (okay, a little harsh, but you get the idea) overwhelming us with all the details about everything that’s not going their way, never allowing for the smallest chance for reciprocity.
A healthy connection between people is almost impossible if any of these scenarios is on deck…
When they don’t appreciate you
There comes a time amidst our friendship with someone, when we’d notice that after all we do, the hours we spend talking, the energy we exert to cheer them up and the feelings we always try to share with them, they still blame us for not doing “more”.
We start to look at the friendship from a different angle. It’s then when we realize that they don’t see the effort, and worse yet, they don’t appreciate it.
When they demotivate you
Another sign we should start rethinking any relationship is when all we get from the other side is demotivation. We go talking about this dream of ours and how we need motivation, and they would either make fun of it or tell us it’s impossible.
If they have a constructive opinion then it’s absolutely fine and definitely welcomed, but when it sounds like they’re just bringing us down then there is a problem.
When they don’t see their bright side
We all have our bright sides, that a lot of us even hold on to at the darkest of times. However, some fail to ever look at the good things in their lives. If someone is always complaining about how they’re living the worst life, and how there isn’t anything they’re thankful for, then this is a serious issue, an you need to avoid it.
We try to make them shift their gaze towards the small things that should make them feel blessed, yet all our attempts fail miserably. This might eventually affect us and our own view of the bright side and whether it exists. And let’s be honest, you’re probably tired of it and can’t help anymore.
When they take you for granted
We all realize that making someone else feel better about themselves after a bad day makes our own day even better. However, there are times when those efforts go down the drain as we start to notice that they expect others to do it anyway.
Making a friendship (or any relationship for that matter) work with someone only expecting to be the receiver doesn’t make it a promising one.
When they only talk about their problems with you
Toxic human interactions come in countless conflicting forms, and one of them lies in what people choose to share.
It doesn’t really call for an expert to understand that you need to let go of (or at least distance yourself from) people who only emanate negative energy by constantly involving you in the dark, problem-infested aspect of their lives. Especially when you only hear about their better days from mutual friends, or see their more optimistic self on Facebook the next day hoping they would ever share this part of their character with you.
There’s a fine line between being generous with your time and emotions when it comes to people who matter to you, and allowing people to consume your upbeat self by absorbing your constructive, attentive qualities.