“Ah yes, young love!” said no Egyptian parent ever.
Ever tried being a girl and getting into a relationship in our traditional society? Chances are that if you have, you’ve either been interrogated by your parents or been called a slut. Or both.
Notice that I said the word ‘girl’. Yep! Female, lass, young woman, young lady, miss, gal, damsel, babe or a damn señorita! CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT OKAY?! FREAKIN’ HUMAN BEING WITH DIFFERENT PARTS!!
Why am I highlighting the word ‘girl ’you ask? Hmmm. Okay, I’m going to speak out of personal experience here: I’m fourteen so technically, I’ve never been in a ‘relationship’ per se, HOWEVER I’ve seen both my sisters go in and out of many.
Most of the time, my parents had no clue and I was told to keep my mouth shut and not tell them. Of course, I never told on either of them, because we’ve got a super close bond, but I never understood WHY it was something they had to hide.
However, on the rare (but intense) occasions that my mom did find out, all hell would break loose. Let’s just say that I vaguely remember jumping in front of my sisters to protect them as several ‘shebshebs’ were being thrown their way. (You guys owe me!)
When my guy cousins used to come over though, they used to boast about their relationships and I remember my mother having absolutely no problem with it. So why was being in a relationship for a girl ‘7aram’ and for a guy ‘eshta’?!
Of course when the time came and I had finally mustered up the courage to ask my parents that question, I was met with the good ol’ “3shan enty bent!!” (which translates to ‘because you’re a girl’ for those of you who don’t know), to which I responded by blasting Kelly Clarkson’s ‘Miss Independent’ throughout my whole house.
Do you see where I’m going with this? If not, bear with me.
It seems to me that our oh so fabulous ‘traditions’ have turned into a to-do list for girls all around this country. So again I ask why do we fear girls getting into relationships?!
One word: Virginity.
Yes, I literally just went there.
*grabs popcorn and watches as millions of ‘traditional’ Egyptians’ brains explode*
My fellow readers, it has come to my attention that as a society, we’ve fooled ourselves into thinking that lack of relationships for a girl is directly correlated with the preservation of her ‘dignity’. To that I say, what a load of crap.
If it was a matter of dignity then we’d be applying the same rules to boys, but are we? Nope!
I mean seriously, when was the last time you heard “Mafish 7aga esmaha 5eroog ma3 banat ya Ahmed”?!
It was never about relationships or dignity; it was always about having control over women and ‘not bringing shame to the family’.
Because you know, only girls are capable of doing that. Note the everlasting sarcasm.
As Egyptians we’ve decided that in order for us to avoid a girl losing her virginity, we should shove relationships all together into a taboo bubble and hope for the best.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it doesn’t work that way!
Just because you don’t talk about something doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen, because let’s face it it isn’t 1925 anymore! How about instead of sweeping everything under the carpet we start talking about the reality of how everything really is?
Yes mother, that means that I will no longer take “3shan enty bent” as a response, because I don’t remember “3shan enta walad” ever coming out of anyone’s mouth.
So yes, when the time comes and I do decide to get into an actual relationship, I will most certainly NOT tolerate being called a slut or ‘msh mo7tarama’ by anyone for the sole purpose of me having different genitalia than the opposite sex. I don’t care who you are. I will, without a doubt, politely lash out at you (or maybe not so politely.)
Taboo subjects are SUPPOSED to be talked about and if you thought otherwise, well then you’re in for a surprise because obviously silence isn’t a virtue in any of my books.